


Due

by avulle



Series: Earth and Fire [2]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Crack, F/F, Fluff, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-29
Updated: 2015-08-29
Packaged: 2018-04-17 22:27:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4683650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/avulle/pseuds/avulle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Toph introduces Azula to a new friend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Due

**Author's Note:**

> This is an outtake from Earth and Fire that I never posted because I didn't think it fit in the rest of the series. I'm posting it now because I kind of love it like a horribly deformed ugly baby.
> 
> It's not really canon (to Earth and Fire), but it probably could be if you twisted and pounded at it hard enough.
> 
> Originally written between chapter's 3 and 4 (Sofa and Tea). I personally call it Chapter 3.5.

“Toph.”

“Azula.”

“Toph.”

“ _Azula_.”

“Who is that.”

“This is Due,” Toph says with a smile, gesturing at the man sitting beside her.

“Is he not aware of the modern custom of wearing clothes?”

“These are the clothes of my people,” he responds without indignance, leaning back languidly.

“Isn’t he great?” Toph asks with a smile.

“He’s full of shit,” Azula immediately responds, settling down on the table across from Due and beside Toph. “He’s from Westminster.”

Azula sets her right arm on the table, and Toph curls her left hand around it.

“His people’s clothes are pants so their genitalia don’t freeze in winter.”

“I’ll have you know,” he responds lazily, “that my genitalia are perfectly healthy.”

“I love him so much,” Toph says with a grin, leaning into Azula’s personal space.

Azula gives her a sideways glance before turning back to the sparsely clothed man sitting across from them.

“I don’t.”

“That’s cool, man,” he responds.

“I’m not a man,” Azula automatically responds.

“Right,” he says, eyes hazy and half-focused. “ _Dude_.”

Azula makes an aggravated noise in the back of her throat.

“I met him five minutes ago, and I think we might be destined to be together.”

Azula gives Toph another disgusted glare before turning it back to the man sitting across from them.

“Put on a shirt,” she tells him.

He ponders it for a moment, turning his head and staring up at the sky, before shaking his head.

“No.”

“Ask him about his genitalia again,” Toph not-whispers in Azula’s ear.

Azula elbows Toph out of her personal space.

“Come on, you love it.”

Azula blinks.

“No,” she finally says. “No, that is a false statement.”

“I love it,” Due pipes up from across from them. “It’s one of my favorite things.”

There's another long pause.

“He’s a waterbender,” Toph adds, sliding closer to Azula and grinning down at her.

“A _swamp_ bender.”

“That’s not a valid distinction.”

“Not cool, dude,” Due half-complains from across the table, his green eyes tracing their way lazily across them. “Not cool.”

Azula looks at him for a moment before turning back to Toph.

“He can be part of the Freight Train Brigade,” Toph says excitedly.

“I will never be a part of anything named the Freight Train Brigade.”

“Come on, it’s a great name.”

“It’s a terrible name,” Azula counters, nudging Toph away again.

“Come on come on—” Toph wheedles.

“I think it’s a cool name,” Due adds from across the table.

Toph throws her right arm at him, only narrowly missing punching him square in the face.

“Look!” she proclaims. “Look how much cooler he is than you!”

“He is clearly high,” Azula says.

After a moment, Due stirs.

“No, man—”

Azula makes an irritated noise.

“The great swamp says to say no to drugs.”

After a moment he lifts his arms from where they dangle at his sides, making a large x with his arms.

“Drugs are NG, man.”

“That stands for Not Good,” Toph not-whispers into Azula’s ear.

“Yes, thank you, Toph.”

“I’m high on _life_ ,” Due adds from across from them.

There is a long moment of silence.

“I hate everything about him,” Azula says, turning to Toph.

“I think I might be in love with him.” Toph blinks innocently at Azula’s scowl. “I might want to have his babies.”

Azula makes another aggravated noise, and falls back against the chair.

“Naw, man,” Due finally adds from across the table. “I don’t think I’m cool with that.”

Toph turns to look at him in surprise.

Due smiles vaguely at them.

“Maybe like, sperm donation—”

“Okay, stop,” Azula interrupts him. “I don’t care.”

“I care,” Toph says.

“I don’t.”

“Sucks to be you.”

“You’re not enough—” Due gestures at his barely covered crotch, miming a large, cylindrical object.

“Oh, ew,” Azula says, turning away.

“Man for me,” Due finishes.

There’s a long silence, and a smile slowly crawls its way across Toph’s face.

“We can be the Rainbow Brigade!”

“No.”

“That’s a _great_ name.”

Azula heaves another sigh, sinking to further into her chair.

“You’re not gonna win this, Azula.”

“I’ll have you know I have never lost at anything in my life, Toph.”

“That’s a blatant lie.”

“No it’s not.”

“Yes it is.”

“No it’s not.”

“You guys are cool,” Due interrupts from across the table.

He pauses, staring dreamily into space.

“I like you guys.”

There’s a moment of silence.

“I still hate you.”

Due raises a hand from beside him and points at her with a lazy smile.

“That’s cool, man.”

He nods.

“That’s your per—”

He pauses.

“Perog—”

Azula slides a gaze to Toph’s wide grin.

“Right,” Due finishes. “‘s your right.”

He melts back into his chair.

“I want to set him on fire,” Azula resolves. “I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to set someone on fire more.”

“He’ll grow on you.”

There’s a pause.

“Like a tumor?”

“Yeah,” Toph agrees. “Like a cancer.”

There’s a pause.

“The great swamp says yes to cancerous growths.”

Due raises his hands, and gives them a thumbs up.

“Not NG.”

Azula heaves another massive sigh.

 


End file.
